.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Holy Freakin Fluff it's an update!

Well first off, GRRRRRRRRR that the cabin plans have been torn apart because my boss cannot keep dates straight. So now I have a useless 2 days off.

I feel so lost and confused on life. Should I bother continuing school? What carrer do I really even want? It feels so much better to just go with the flow of life, cause if you're not trying so hard to go somewhere, you can't fail as much. Life doesn't dissapoint and upset you when you don't have so many expectations.

And (please excuse the pun) God only knows where the heck I am spiritually. I believe in God, no doubt. But I just feel so......I don't even know the word. I've broken so many rules, Heck I've even broken my OWN rules. I want to be a good follower, but I am so sick of church and church people. Not all of them mind you, but so many become judgemental and brainwashed. As though they all become cloned into the "perfect christian image".

And it feels like so many of my "christian" friends are falling apart. I've always been a liberal christian, but now it's to the point that people don't accept me anymore. Sometimes I don't even accept myself.

And some sins are so hard to break man!!!! What happened to my strong will-power and warrior spirit? What happened to my solidly drawn lines? My head aches so bad at night. I fight within myself beyond word.

I dunno. I need some half-baked ice cream and good soft music.

posted by Kairsie 10:01 PM